Unhinged Habits by Jonathan Goodman

I had seen Unhinged Habits by Jonathan Goodman a few times before finally reading it. The title caught my attention, but I couldn’t connect it to anything. What did “unhinged habits” even mean?

It didn’t resonate strongly enough for me to start reading, so I kept postponing it, even after seeing some of my friends pick it up.

Then Paul Millerd recommended it publicly. I am a huge fan of his writing, and I trust his taste in books, so I decided to give it a chance.

And, well… it completely consumed me from the first page. I finished it in two or three days. It was the perfect book at the perfect time for me.

Some of its ideas weren’t entirely new, but the way they were brought together—and connected to the author’s own life, made them click. Three ideas in particular have stayed with me.

1. Seasons

I am 30+ now, and I am becoming convinced that living in seasons might be the only sustainable way to live.

For years, I have tried to compress everything I care about into every day or every week: business, family, health, friends, and learning. It doesn’t work.

Looking back, I actually built my business in seasons without realizing it. When I quit my job, I went almost all-in on the business. I sacrificed my health and spent less time with friends—and it worked. I managed to build something on my own.

But now, some of the things I neglected need a season of their own. I need to keep other parts of my life at a maintenance level and focus much more intensely on my health for a while.

The book gave me permission to think this way.

2. Relationships

The author’s reflections on marriage, family, and building a life together felt deeply familiar.

I’ve been with my wife for more than a decade, and reading about another long-term relationship reinforced the feeling that we’re growing together in the right way.

One idea resonated with me in particular: two people don’t need to be the same to build a strong life together. My wife and I are very different, but we complement each other. When I reached that part of the book, I immediately shared it with her.

3. Social Media

This one hit hard because social media has fucked with my brain reward system, but not through doomscrolling. I barely doomscroll. My problem is posting.

I post something, receive feedback and attention, and get a small reward. Over time, my reward system became tied to that response. It changed the way I think and what my brain looks for.

The book made something obvious that I had been struggling to explain to myself.

I am now trying to post less and slowly rebuild my relationship with social media.

The Right Book at the Right Time

There are many other ideas from Unhinged Habits that I will remember, but these three stayed with me most: seasons, relationships, and social media.

It was a much-needed book for this particular period of my life and it deserves more readers.